When Rape Victims Are Raped Again
Multiple Victimization of Rape Victims
I wondered for years what was wrong with me...
Fort member
Non trusting my gut
The offset rape is a trauma, it can cause Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and one of its symptoms is hypervigilance. I proceed worrying well-nigh safe, constantly screen my environment for potential threats, jump at every noise. I know consciously that my environment is safe now, I'one thousand overreacting, and so I try to breathe and ignore my anxiety whenever it comes upwardly. Equally a effect, I might dismiss even a valid threat as yet some other manifestation of my PTSD, and won't take measures to protect myself when I should. Having a support network helps: family, friends, someone I can run my worries past, to check if I'thou overreacting or the situation really is fishy.
Keeping secrets
When I was raped, I was probably threatened (with physical strength, weapons, or blackmail), told to go on hush or else. It's a scary experience that I will remember for the rest of my life, especially if I do what I'thou told and keep the incident a secret, rather than reporting it to regime. As a result, the adjacent fourth dimension someone tries to violate me, I freeze and revert dorsum to the onetime design of "don't tell," even if I'm not being threatened in whatever style. For case, if a coworker flashes me when we're solitary in the office - I leave the room, but I don't tell anyone most what happened. I feel ashamed, scared, not wanting my coworkers to gossip about me, blame me mayhap. This is how a potential rapist knows that I'one thousand a good target: I didn't tell anyone near the flashing, then I probably won't brand a scene if they grope me, follow me abode, endeavor a rape. Speaking upward helps, fifty-fifty if what happened doesn't feel similar a large bargain, or if it feels similar it might take been your mistake, or if information technology's been going on for years. You have the right to say "no more" at any point, and have it respected.
Giving upwards on condom
Rape is a degrading experience. It's not about sex, it's about violence, the rapist is asserting their belief that they can do to me whatever they want because I'yard a nothing, I don't affair. It's not truthful: I do have worth, deserve as much as the next person, and people can't violate me whenever they feel like it - even if someone got away with it before. However, convincing myself of information technology after a rape takes fourth dimension and try. Equally a result, I don't even try to resist when someone crosses the lines with me, no matter who it is or how often it happens, because I feel worthless and undeserving of any better. In such a situation information technology might assist to still protect yourself, if merely for the sake of the time to come. To preserve yourself till you feel like you deserve it, so that the future yous would have less trauma to piece of work through in therapy. It might feel like life is hopelessly ruined beyond repair, but some months/years down the line your electric current efforts at cocky-preservation will definitely make a deviation.
Seeking out danger
A lot of rape survivors put themselves at take a chance needlessly: drinking with people they don't know, walking through parks solitary at dark, arranging one-night stands with strangers online, etc. Information technology might audio bizarre, but actually makes a lot of sense. Rape is a huge accident to cocky-esteem, and then I desire to revisit the situation to conquer it, to end the fearfulness, face up the bad guys, reassert my worth, brand for a different outcome, exist a winner this fourth dimension around, and exist able to respect myself once again. Hither's how one Fort member described it (and gave permission to use this quote) - "If I felt scared or uncomfortable about something, I'd utilise that equally a proxy to mean I MUST practice it, I MUST conquer my fears and triggers. I felt like I'chiliad giving in, I'm being controlled by my fears if I don't challenge them." However, some situations are just best avoided; there's no shame in being unable to protect myself in circumstances where near people would be every bit unable to protect themselves. It's merely a bad situation to be in, for anyone, at that place's nothing to win and zip to prove hither. It's merely like leaving my apartment door open at night and sitting there waiting for thieves to come in, then that I can protect myself from the intrusion. I could, but why would I do that? I can but lock the door and avoid the hassle.
Refusing to act responsibly
There'due south a pop slogan amongst women's rights activists, "Don't teach us how not to get raped, teach rapists non to rape." Gender bias aside, making the world a better identify is a noble goal, and it makes perfect sense to target criminals rather than victims, in social club to prevent crime. Nonetheless, social justice and my personal condom are two separate concepts; I'chiliad not doomed to be repeatedly raped until all criminal offence is eradicated. I can abet for change while taking steps to protect myself in the meantime. Refusing to exercise basic self-care doesn't make me a hero and doesn't help the crusade any, just like refusing to use an umbrella doesn't eradicate rain. It simply results in repeat victimization: I keep putting myself in unsafe situations, getting hurt, and growing more and more bitter with the imperfect globe we live in, where crimes still happen. On the other hand, taking a more than applied approach allows me to learn from the experience and lower my chances of getting hurt. It'due south not most arraign, it's about effective problem-solving.
Using sloppy terminology
A lot of people say "I'm depressed" without really significant clinical depression. Some utilise the term "rape" rather loosely besides, meaning anything from violent attack to catcalls. It confuses the outcome, hurts other people, and impairs my mental health. I terminate up feeling constantly abused/raped, nobody takes me seriously, frustration builds up, and I turn into a hostile and securely unhappy person who views anybody around every bit a rapist or rape enabler. If you're non a human being trafficking victim, and yet feel as if y'all're being raped on daily basis - check your terminology. Rape means not-consensual sexual intercourse (vaginal, anal, or oral), then if someone catcalled at you, you tin complain of sexual harassment - but you can't complain of rape because no rape took place. Using right terms to draw the problem makes it a lot easier to get help and support that you need.
The world would be a much better place if there were no rapes, theft, murders, or other crimes. I shouldn't have to worry nearly my safety when I walk downwards the street at nighttime, beverage at a nightclub, or date someone new. It's unfair that some people choose to suspension the law. However, I'm not entirely at the mercy of their choices. I have the power to stop this rape revictimization scenario from repeating like a broken record, by taking charge and changing what I'm doing. Maybe 1 twenty-four hour period rape will be eradicated worldwide, and this page will become obsolete. Until then I promise it helps you stay condom.
This folio was last updated on February 27th, 2018
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